Let Down

  

I got you so wrong….

Guess I had fluff in my brain

I saw sequins and sparkles

Where dank sackcloth clad

I heard sweet doves cooing

Where crows cawed their wrath

Smelled acres of orchids

Where mackerel decayed

Tasted Columbian coffee

In the cheap tea you made

Felt care and compassion 

In your condescending control

Yes, the fuzz clogged my senses… 

I was ‘sex’ all along.

Dead

  

Congratulations 

I bite my tongue

Everywhere 

Another one

Avert my eyes

Don’t let them see

Tears welling with 

Futility

The ultimate toll

Anorexia took?

A consequence

Of lack of food?

Or sustained damage

From bloody rape?

Maybe perchance 

My twist of fate?

While they’re all out there

Having kids

I’m popping pills

To quash the fits

So sorry I 

Can’t share the joy

My ruptured soul

Lies dead

Destroyed

Copyright Blackheart August, 2015

Control…

  

That familiar fizzing feeling

Zap zap zap

Want to, need to… sleep

Zap zap zap 

Forcing tired eyes to stay awake

Zap zap zap zap 

To no avail…

Zap… Zap… Zap…

The demons poke, prod, pound

Relentlessly with their electrodes… 

Zap zap…

Flat…

‘Take the pills’, they say

‘Satan’s pills’, I think

‘They’ll let you rest’ they say

‘And steal my soul’ I think 

Temptation… but at what cost…

Hell… Of course I want this stopped!

But numb me?

A place I never want to be

That fizzing zapping feeling 

The aching, shaking, waking

Failed words, communication

Is what I know

And side effects?

I don’t expect?

Could be much worse 

This war cannot be won

But the war… is mine 

Copyright Blackheart August, 2015